Funny Sunny
by AnnabelleLee13194
Summary: Don't you hate OCs with no personality that go by the same cliches over and over and over again? If you do, then this story is for you! Sunny is in so way a cliche, and if she is FLAME ME! I don't care! EmmettOC but I refuse to kill any of my characters!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I do not own. No comment- please speak to my agent. I'm not at liberty to say anything at the moment. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever.

!#$%^&*()))))(*&^%$#!#$%^&*

Love. Attraction. Desire. All have been 'explained' by science. It's all nothing more than physical attraction and hormones. Supposedly, when you find the one for you, you fit together. Physically that is. People always tell you how good you look together, that they're surprised you weren't together from the beginning.

I never got that.

From the very beginning no one thought that I of all people would end up with him. It just didn't compute that "Funny (not in a nice way) Sunny" could land a guy- let alone someone as amazing as he was. And it all started with a pair of old shoes.

!#$%^&*()(*&^%$#!#$%^

Moving to Forks was not the easiest thing I ever did. I mean, it wasn't the hardest- but it wasn't as easy as telling Pamela Anderson's tits were fake. I hadn't had any good friends, the sun hadn't agreed with me and I was a firm believer that there were ghosts in my old house. So moving wasn't hard.

School was.

I'll say it now, and I'll say it again- I'm not good with people. Not because I'm antisocial or anything, I'm just too much of a goof ball for anyone to take me seriously. Which would suck I guess….If I wasn't having such a good time! In my 16 years of life, I had outgrown stupidity. The whole "I'm too cool, why anyone else can't be like me I don't understand" attitude sucked balls, and I had found going with the flow made things so much easier. Thus my 'retarded' behavior. That's all beside the point. The point is that I need new shoes and it's raining. And the school should invest in mops.

On my first day of school (halfway through the semester- yay me.) I probably looked like a loony bird. My massive, frizzy brown hair was jammed under a rainbow cap (though it didn't help much), my huge, red thick rimmed glasses were perched on the end of my nose (they made my green eyes look owlish…yeah...) and I was wearing a neon pink jumper. I thought it was comfortable. Everyone else gave me a wide berth and didn't even bother to whisper about me. Looks were enough. I however did not care- the looks on their faces had me snickering all the way to the front office. Or I would have been if I hadn't slipped on the tiles by the front door and skidded about 10 feet before being knocked over by an open locker.

I like to read, not so much that I always have my head stuck in a book but enough that I know a good cliché when I hear one. For instance, in my case the heroine would grumble and curse about her misfortune, new school, horrible life, etc. etc. I think it can be established that this is not a normal story, and I am most certainly not normal. When my head came in contact with said piece of metal, all I could think of was that if I was in a cartoon pretty blue birds would be twittering above my head.

And I burst into hysterical laughter.

Another thing you should know; when I laugh I snort. Like a pig, it's really not attractive AT ALL. I also find it hilarious, and thus start laughing harder and the cycle continues until someone poops my party. In this case, some bronze- haired boy got up in my face and started looking deeply into my eyes. He was gorgeous with weird yellow eyes (never been one for creative descriptions) and he was just freaking _staring _at me! At first I thought it was some beautiful moment where I look into the eyes of my one true love, and BAM! We connect and have 2.5 kids, a two story house (picket fence and all) and live to age 110 while still having mind blowing orgies.

I was viciously knocked out of my daydream when said future husband poked me in the forehead.

By then, the curiosity about killed me, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Lover, what the hell are you doing?" Almost as if he knew what I was going to say he replied stoically.

"I'm trying to see if you have a concussion." I blinked up at him, ignoring the gentle prodding of my forehead.

"Oh…can you read minds?" He gave me an odd look.

"…No. Your head is concussion free." Now it was MY turn to give HIM and odd look.

"Don't you mean 'my head is okay'" A smirk tried to make its way onto his face, but he fought it off like a true Jedi.

"You are most certainly not okay in the head." Then he turned away after helping me up, and walked over to a pretty brunette waiting on the sidelines for him. I didn't miss the loving look shared between the two and just like that- my fantasy was flushed down the toilet like a recovering drug addict's stash. Surprisingly, the loss of my 'prince charming' didn't bother me at all. Then again, I had only been in love for three seconds… After I had recovered from my 'heart break', I decided a schedule was in order. It's not like I could go to random classrooms like a wandering duck and ask "are you my teacher" over and over…or I could… that _would_ be freakin' hilarious. As my fantasy of annoying the crap out of my teachers buzzed through my mind I made my way to the front office, already dreading facing the fire breathing bitch behind said doors. As a master of clichés, I fully expected some old crone to inhabit the desk and have some snappy conversation handed to me- just to make me seem sarcastic and cool. What happened next, I don't even think YOU were expecting.

Instead of some old stereotype, I was confronted with a pixie of human proportions. Yet another beautiful person was sitting behind the desk, only this time it had boobs. Tiny boobs, but boobs none the less. She was thin and lithe looking, with spiky black hair and the same yellow eyes as the boy in the hallway. And she had a very concentrated look on her face while she muttered to herself and waved her hands about as if to make a point to some invisible foe.

It kind of made me want to pull out a sword and fight her.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, her face got this odd blank look before she snapped up and grinned at me.

"Oh, you must be the new girl! Yay, I've been waiting for you forever!" then she danced over to me and pulled me towards the desk where she began to rifle through some papers, apparently looking for my schedule.

"Aren't you a little young to be a receptionist?" She paused for a second, glancing up at me before continuing her search.

"Oh no, I'm not the receptionist- I'm the office's student assistant! But you can call me Alice!" She exclaimed while handing me my rumpled schedule. "I'll be seeing you later Sunny!" Then she shoved me out the office doors and into a brick wall. Well not directly into a brick wall. I slipped on another damn puddle and THEN I went head first into a brick wall. Because I fail at life, my book bag ended up smacking me in the face when I hit the ground.

This time I really did see birds.

Once the sparrows (not bluebirds surprisingly) cleared my vision I found myself facing my crappy XMA* backpack. Not for very long mind you. It was extracted off my face by yet another beautiful person. Only this one had some pretty nice man boobs and blond hair.

"Y'all right miss?" mister blond man said, holding my backpack up. I was immediately reminded of a cowboy in those old western movies, and I found myself (yet again) laughing hysterically on the floor. The blond scowled at me before looking up at the guilty pixie behind me.

"Alice, what's wrong with her?" Alice smiled at him, glowing in the blonde's presence.

"Nothing Jasper! She's just a big 'teddy bear'!" The smile on her face seemed to take on a mischievous look. Jasper's eyes widened in recognition and disbelief.

"Really- her? Are you sure Alice?" Alice gave him 'the look'.

"Of course I'm sure! She just…needs some work." Jasper looked down at my now still form, now staring at me oddly.

"I am alive you know. I can hear you….Do you think you could help me up? The floor is cold, and I think I'm sitting in a puddle." I was helped up immediately by a very cold hand.

"Man, your hands are colder then my dad's! And he's a doctor!" Jasper just shrugged at me.

"I get that a lot. It's just how my family is- genetics you know?" Mirth flooded me.

"So you're cold because of your genes?" I had a hard time holding back my snickers.

"Yeah…" He was looking at me oddly.

"Then go buy some new ones!" And I broke into giggles, ignoring the silent eye communication going on between the two love birds. Once I had calmed myself down (strangely quickly) I patted Jasper on the shoulder before heading to my first class- Algebra II. Whoever decided Math was a good idea at seven in the morning should have their hair shaved with a manual grass cutter. My gripping aside, Math was easy (way better then geometry- who the hell wants to learn about finding the slant height of a triangle anyways?), English (my worst subject) was okay though I wasn't looking forward to reading 'Romeo and Juliet' (Shakespeare is overrated), and the rest of my classes were actually amusing (a girl in my science class stuck a magnet up her nose because she thought there was metal in her brain**).

Lunch was an interesting experience to say the least. I've never felt a need to watch my weight (I work out four days a week), and as such my usual thoughts revolve around what I'm going to eat next. Lunch is my favorite time of day (and Anatomy- I love cutting shit up.). When I walked into the crowded room, I noticed that most of the people (girls especially) were crowded around a tiny little salad bar fighting over tomatoes. But the real lunch line….that was a thing of beauty.

I spent $25 on cafeteria food; chili cheese fries, burgers, pizza, chicken, and Dr. Pepper. It was a feast of epic proportions. By the time I had finished my attack on lunch food I was certain of two things. Firstly, the kind, old lunch lady wanted to adopt me after she saw how much I ate- and I quote "sweet baby Jesus child! You eat more than most of the lads here! Bless you!" It was adorable- though she didn't really have an Irish accent, I just thought that would make her more endearing. Secondly, the entire female population hated me or assumed I was a cow (the jumpsuit didn't help much with that assumption). That or there really were no more places to sit, but I seriously doubt that.

So I sat on the floor in the middle of the cafeteria, and began to eat. Mind you, I got some odd looks but I didn't mind. Food is food, whether it's on a table or the floor. I had just finished my third Dr. Pepper, when I felt a cold tap on my shoulder. Chili cheese fry remnants on my face, I turned in my seated position to face another pretty person. I found myself faced with a being out of an old romance novel (doe eyes, soft hair- the works). And those damn yellow eyes were in my face again. I couldn't resist the temptation.

"Can I help you, my fair lady?" She pulled a look before plopping down next to me.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" I blinked owlishly at her.

"Why are YOU sitting on the floor?" She ignored my question, waiting for me to answer. I sighed, deciding "eh what the hell?"

"I'm sitting here because no one else wants me. Do I have bad breath?" she cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Yes. But that's beside the point. You're sitting with me. Right now." Then she yanked me unceremoniously to me feet and started dragging me towards 'her' table.

"Hey! What about my foo-"Alice interrupted me, popping up next to me trays in hand.

"I've got your food! How is it possible for someone to eat so much?" I snickered.

"I'm a werewolf. You didn't know?" Both of the girls stopped, an odd look on their face before classic girl continued to drag me.

That was the first time I saw him.

He was sitting next to a beautiful blonde girl (woman…thing…), his amazingly muscular arms wrapped around her shoulders while leaning back casually in the plastic chairs all cafeterias had. He was tall (the chair barely seemed to hold his weight) and had beautiful brown dark hair and golden eyes. To me he seemed to glow, like a beacon in a dark night. He was so happy looking that it made him shine like the stars in the sky. He was my star, my moon, my sun, my heaven…and my hell. All in one muscular package.

And he loved the woman he was next to. I felt as if my life really was going to end this time. And it wasn't the three second love I'd had with the bronze haired boy.

I was knocked out of my revelry by a brown haired nymph.

"Sunny I want you to meet my family! You already know Jasper Hale…" The Texan nodded. "The one dragging you is Bella" She grinned at me. "Bella's boyfriend is (the bronze haired one) Edward Cullen." He smirked at me, as if he knew him poking me in the forehead was playing through my head. "The blonde is Jasper's twin, Rosalie." She glared- it was actually a little scary. "And the big one is Emmett Cullen" He grinned hugely at me, and I found myself grinning right along with him. Never had I loved a name so much. Alice shoved me into a chair….

Right next to Rosalie Hale.

I briefly considered killing her- but thought against it quickly. I'd get blood in my hair and it was fuzzy enough as is. So I just settled in and started chowing-down on my second slice of pizza, ignoring the evil glare Rosalie was giving me. I paused when I heard Emmett snicker.

"What's so funny Gigantor? " He continued laughing.

"How can you eat so much?" I started snickering.

"I don't know. Maybe I have a hollow leg?" Then I knocked on my shin in a joking manner, fully expecting the sound of smacked flesh.

I pulled back when I heard a hollow knock and stared at my leg in shock.

"Holy shit I have a hollow leg." Then my laughter began again, and I was followed by Emmett's booming laugh.

Like I said, Lunch is my favorite class.

!#$%^&*(*&^%$#!#$%^&*(*&^%$#!#$%^

* XMA stands for 'Extreme Martial Arts' which is a form of Taekwondo that I do. It incorporates traditional martial arts, freestyle, and acrobatics. It's extremely intense and a LOT of fun. You can totally check out clips on YouTube.

** A girl in my Biology actually did this. It's one of the reasons I'm homeschooled- most of the people at my school were so STUPID I couldn't stand it.

Please review and tell me if you like it! I'm trying to create an ORIGINAL character; going against every utterly horrid cliché has to offer. Your opinion counts! Tell me if my idea is 'original' or if I'm just some poor shmoe trying for greatness. To be truthful, I like my character- and all of the characters in Twilight (except the Volturi- though they are cool on occasion) so I refuse to kill a character for my own creative license. So Rosalie lives and Emmett and her still love each other. I'll just be creative and work around it.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Please note the sarcasm. F you all.

**__**

Supposedly, when one is having a good time- everything seems to go too quickly. Being with the Cullens disproved this theory.

I had an amazing time.

And every second seemed to last a lifetime.

**--**

My house is interesting on the weekdays. My mom is usually 'expressing herself artistically' which involves beating the crap out of metal cubes with a sledge hammer and taking a paintball gun to canvas. You may be surprised to know that rich yuppies eat it right up. Right now she's almost never in the house- too busy setting up her new art room (shed). Last week she let me take a peek, and let me just say I think it's _beautiful._ Each wall is splattered with trillions of glowing colors on a black back drop, and she's working on making stain glass windows. Then she shoved me out and said that 'inspiration had struck' and that I 'impeded her imaginative growth'. My dad was clinically insane…or at least I thought he was. Derek (my dad) was a chronic outdoorsman and insisted that we hunt for our own food. As such he was a carpenter and spent a lot of time cutting shit down…and cutting himself as it turns out. He's already lost two fingers but the man never stops.

When I was a kid I called him 'Hedge' because he was so covered in splinters he looked like a hedgehog.

Despite being a little off their rockers, they were the best parents I could have ever asked for- so when my dad decided to move here to be better surrounded by nature I didn't argue. Much. As you may or may not already know, I do karate. Not only for shits and giggles but because I do it competitively.

And I'm pretty damn good if I do say so myself…..which I do. And so does the rest of the world apparently. As it were, I am a six time World Champ in sparring- and I don't plan to stop winning anytime soon. The only upset I had was that there are no schools* near Forks, so I have to drive 2 hours to Seattle for some second rate place.

Unacceptable.

My only request was that I be allowed to train myself and keep in contact with my instructor so that I could keep my title. So while most people had a laundry room, I had my own dojo. And I now had myself on a six day a week workout schedule. It wasn't hard, and I enjoyed myself…I just didn't want anyone watching my grunt and sweat all over my pretty red/blue mats.

As luck would have it, I had visitors on my third day in Washington. I didn't even suspect a thing…

I was in my zone. Concentrated solely on the target in front of me only dimly aware of the 3oh!3 song pounding behind me. I moved easily, the sports bra and jazz pants snug for maximum flexibility. My glasses were off, and I had finally succeeded in taming my rats nest into a pony tail (though it was a little easier because my hair was soaked with sweat…). Occasionally I'd stop to air drum then continue. It was peace and for a moment I was just like any other girl at the gym; sweaty, tired, sore….not me. I was so intent on what I was doing I didn't notice the two in my room (for it was truly MY room, more so then my bedroom) until my music was abruptly cut off. Confused I whipped around to the doorway leading into my room and saw Alice and Bella gaping at me.

"Oh- My god." The pixie gasped mouth agape. My face aflame I curled up on the floor my hands covering my head.

"What are you doing here?!" I shrieked in the fetal position. They ignored me.

"How, when, what? Why do you dress the way you do when you look the way you do?" Bella shrieked pointing at me, while Alice nodded frantically in agreement. I uncurled from my 'ultimate ball of protection™' and stared at them.

"What do you mean?" Alice scowled at me.

"First off, your knockers are huge and shapely"

"I'm a door?" she ignored me and continued.

"Your body is as firm as a watermelon…"

"Oh my god- are you going to eat me in a fruit salad?!" Bella continued.

"Your ass looks like I could bounce a quarter off it…" I scowled at her.

"Am I fruit salad or military grade?**" I was ignored yet again (I don't exist in this conversation those bitches).

"And it all comes together in a sexy hourglass figure- what the fudge is wrong with you?!" Alice stated before shrieking at me (again…I'm surprised their voices aren't hoarse yet…). Though I suppose she had a right to, I was staggering around clutching at my head in frustration.

"Am I a door? Fruit? What!?" Bella smacked me upside the head, and for a moment those damn birds were back in my vision.

"What the hell are you made of?! Stone?" The two exchanged sheepish looks before glaring at me.

"That's beside the point! The point is a) you're a grade A hottie and b) you dress like Irkle! Heck, if I had boobs like yours I'd walk around topless!" the pixie seethed at me. Turning to look at myself in the wall mirror I honestly couldn't see what she was talking about. That and my clothes were just fine!

As if the pixie knew exactly what I was thinking, she smirked evilly at me. "I'm giving you a makeover." I hissed at her.

"Like hell you are! I'm happy the way I am, and unless an angel falls out of the sky and decrees it must be done, then you'll have to duck tape me down to even start!" Alice blinked sheepishly at me before (surprisingly) backing down.

"Fine, fine…I'll do it later." Her eyes glazed over for a second. "Oh yeah, you'll want a makeover…it's only a matter of time." This time I decided to ignore her.

"Again, I ask _what are you two doing here." _ Bella decided to end my torment.

"We were bored." I hate them sometimes.

"Well I'm busy- what do you want?" Alice started hopping up and down.

"Entertain us!" She was still hopping. So I started to too.

"Oh my gob**! What do you want me to do? Do a trick?" Bella smirked at me.

"Yeah. Now pull a rabbit out of your pants." So I reached into my pants…and pulled out five dollars. She blinked at me.

"…Why is there money in your pants?" I couldn't miss an opportunity like this.

"Second job." Alice started giggling and Bella attempted to fry me like bacon with her eyes. The charade of stupidity was ended by my mom popping her head in.

I don't care if your gay, straight or asexual- my mom is damn sexy. She has this insanely sexy black hair that kind of curls and waves (it goes down to the middle of her back), blue eyes, and these really cute freckles my dad insists on kissing all the time. Which I suppose is cute…if they aren't your parents. It just creeps me out. Currently, she was covered in teal paint with her smock, plaid shirt (like lumber jacks…or Hugh Jackman as Wolverine) and jeans just peaking out.

"I sensed unusual joy in this vicinity. What joke has inspired such joy?" my mom said, voice cool and clear like water. Alice and Bella blinked owlishly at her.

"I just told them about my second job." She smiled serenely at me.

"Oh, so they know you're a stripper? That's nice. Would you all like some tea? I'll go make some." Then she popped out of the room, and could be heard smashing around in the kitchen. Once Alice and Bella had recovered (my mom can be quite disconcertingly calm…) they both looked at me.

"Your mom's got nice hair. Can I play with it?" Alice said, pouting at me. I sighed to myself.

"My mom doesn't believe in the use of 'feminine beauty products'. She says it demeans women. It's why she refuses to wear shoes." Alice looked scared.

"No…shoes? NO!" then she began to fidget and talk to herself, somewhat reminiscent of her performance when we first met. Bella looked almost smug.

"Right on. So she's like a feminist? I can dig that." I mentally slapped myself.

"No. She's not a feminist…she's more of a- god I don't know….naturalist? Yeah, a naturalist. She'll conform when necessary but besides that….she does her own thing. I've never had to 'conform to my parent's misconstrued notions' as she would say. She may look like a space case but don't be fooled! My mom has an IQ of 220 that she hides behind stupidity- it makes her deadly." The two nodded, before Alice piped up again.

"So…is it just your mom?" I shook my head.

"No, my dad's around. In fact…he should be home right about-"I was cut off by the sound of my front door slamming open then closed.

"Damn it Mel! I'm covered in squirrel shit again! God damn rats, fucking dive bombing me with fucking feces- I swear to fucking god I'm gonna bring my shot gun with me next time! Fluffy rats won't know what's comin' to em'!" My dad's rant on squirrels was cut off by my mom's soothing voice.

"Derek. Calm your aura. Sunny has guests over." I could almost see my dad run his hands through his dark hair.

"I'm sorry Mel." Then there was an abrupt silence and I could tell my parents were making out in the kitchen. Alice was gaping yet again.

"I've never heard someone curse so much." Bella snickered at the pixie's gob smacked expression. I mentally sighed.

"My dad was a marine…you could say he picked it up." An 'oh' expression came onto their faces.

"Why don't you guys come to the kitchen with me? The idea of my mom carrying hot liquid makes me nervous" Not checking to see if they were following me, I exited my room and headed to the kitchen.

When I got to the kitchen, I found my dad pinning my mom to the kitchen counter and sucking her face off. For most people this would scar you- but I was used to it by now. None the less, I decided to spare my friends from any further shocks.

"Dad, mom needs that face you know. Besides, my friends don't need to see you sucking at her like a vacuum cleaner." My dad flipped me the bird, but decided to grant my request- and just in the nick of time as it were. Alice and Bella barged into the kitchen, almost as if they were waiting for them to stop… Shrugging sheepishly the two shuffled in and in a manner too graceful for someone slopping into a seat sat down.

An awkward silence filled the room. My dad (who was now sitting at the table with us) coughed into his fist.

"So…you are Sunny's friends?" They nodded. "Oh." In a manner that was supposed to be secretive he bent across the table and whispered. "So…which one of you is her girlfriend?"

"DAD!" My dad ignored me and continued.

"Don't be embarrassed ladies. We've known she's a lezbean for a while. What, with her never bringing boy's home." The girls looked gob smacked.

"First off dad, it's lesbian. Second- I'M. NOT. GAY." My mom floated over to my dad's chair, practically sitting on him.

"Oh honey its okay! We'll love you even if you want to bang women!" If this was a cartoon, steam would be pouring out of my ears.

"MOM! I'm not gay alright! I don't want to bang women I wanna bang Emm-"my hands found their way over my mouth before I could finish the incriminating sentence. I had hoped that no one had noticed my little slip up, but judging by the downright evil grin on the girls (including my mom…it was scary) faces, I could tell it was not so. My mom, with her 'evil' grin in place rushed (well tried to rush, she tripped over her own feet) to my chair.

"So you DO like a boy! What's his name? Is he cute? What color's his aura? Do you want to have his babie-"I just made a distressed noise and fled the room like a wounded cow, Bella and Alice on my heels. When I reached my room (my bedroom this time), I decided against nose diving onto my bed and ran into my closet to hide. What could have only been a second later, I felt a heavy knock on the wooden door. "Sunny? You okay? That drilling was kind of harsh…" Bella's voice piped up. I just snorted at her. Once they realized it was going to take some heavy convincing to get me to come out of the closet*, Alice started banging on the door too. "Come on Sunny bear! We don't mind if you like Emmett- in fact, I was kind of…expecting it!" The pixie's exclamation made me come out. "What do you mean you 'expected' it?" For a brief moment, a panicked look came on their face before Bella smoothed her face into a smug expression. "Oh, that? Well, Alice thinks she's _psychic."_ I glared at her. "Don't be making fun of psychics! I know for a fact that I am too!" Alice squealed. "Really? Oh my gosh! What can you do?!" I smirked proudly. "I can predict numbers!" The excited expression- gone now.

I knew they thought I was crazy, so I decided to prove it to them. "Bella, I want you to think of a number one through a billion." I waited and suddenly a number just occurred to me. "132,695,425.7!" Bella looked at me gob smacked. "Wow, that's really cool. Useless- but cool" Alice sighed at us impatiently. "Come on! We need to stay on track! Now, what's this about you and our brother?" I could feel my ears get hot. "Nothing! There is absolutely nothing going on!" She glared at me. "Unfortunately." NOW she grinned at me, seemingly appeased by my answer. I found myself getting horribly anxious, as I could sense a 'serious' conversation coming up, so I decided to break the tension in the only way I knew how.

I ran out of the room screaming at the top of my lungs. "MOM HAS TEA! WOMAN- STEP AWAY FROM THE HOT BEVERAGE!"

#$%^&**&^%$#!#$%^&*&^%$#!#$%

Well, you've met the family! Tell me what you think of her mom and dad- I imagine her dad looks like Jeffrey Dean Morgan and her mom looks like the love interest in Wolverine Origins…Sunny doesn't look like anyone but herself. And I really do love her for that. Thank you to my reviewers! You all are utterly fabulous. A special thanks to kirb8583 for your descriptive review! You inspired me to write this new chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Since I got such fabulous reviews- I decided to update and add some Sunny/Emmett interactions.

---

I've never looked for the "love story". And I'm glad I didn't.

Because if I had- I'm pretty sure I would have failed every expectation I had hoped for.

I'm pretty good at failing……

And falling…..

--

Remember how I said I needed new shoes? Yeah- I still do.

I'm pretty sure I'm turning into an ice skater. Only I don't get nice sharp shoes or sparkly clothes, I just get to fall all over ice. For you see, in typical Forks fashion the weather had nose dived to a nice toasty 15 degrees Fahrenheit. And I'm from Florida- the closest thing to "Winter clothes" I have are jeans and a sweater for when we went to the movies three times a year (once a birthday- my parents thought movie theaters were ruled by corporate America and the devil). I had all of these on and the itchy gloves my mom had knitted out of yarn for me.

My glasses had frost on them.

Needless to say, I was freezing my ass off and the "oh so kind" children of Forks snickered at my stupid, Southern ways. They can yuck it up all they want; I had THE coolest rainbow, yarn gloves ever. They were just jealous of how awesomely cold I was!

...Nope. Just snickering at me- never mind!

Ignoring the poor, rainbowless schmoes I took my half frozen bike up to the bike stand and quickly locked it into place. Only to have the wheels snap off and the body tip over onto my poor frozen toes. I may be a generally happy person, but there's only so much a girl can take!

"GAH! YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I'M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WITH ONE OF THE ICICLES ON MY GLASSES!" And then I promptly began to beat the crap out of the hunk of metal on the ground with one of the tires from my bike. I was so incredibly frustrated with my morning that I didn't notice myself slip into a rather demented chant of "die, die, die…." until I was abruptly grabbed by my shoulders by a pair of very large, very cold hands.

"Whoa Sunny! I'm pretty sure it's dead now- you can stop!" I immediately recognized Emmett's voice and felt my shoulders slump as my "inner beast" quieted itself. Just feeling his hands on my poor, frozen shoulders made my heart leap like a boxing kangaroo and smile the size of a socialist country's taxes. In an attempt to impress him with my gracefulness I decided to twirl like a ballerina and face him.

Have I mentioned I _fail_ at life?

One moment I'm the prima ballerina at some fancy ballet, and the next my crappy shoes slipped on ice and sent me sprawling into Emmett's large chest. I found myself with my hands all over his chest- one foot up "flamingo (the animal- not the dance) style" with my nose between his pecks. And his hands were on my ass. I know that you'd expect for me to freak out, scream at him and be upset at him for "copping a feel". But I'm not a stupid hormonal twat, and I actually know that he was just trying to make sure I didn't fall and split my head open or something. So I just patted him on the chest.

"Thanks for catching me Emmett. My ass feels great! Can we go inside now?" Then I patted him on the cheek, slipped under his arms and skipped into the school.

Where I promptly ran into the girl's room and started bouncing and shrieking excitedly. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD- A GUY JUST GRABBED MY ASS! YAY! I'M NOT AN ASS VIRGIN! YOU HEAR THAT WORLD- NO LONGER A VIRGIN OF THE ASS!" Did you know people had the nerve to stare at me when I came out? Ridiculous- it's not like they could hear me!

I found out at lunch that I am a poor, disillusioned misconception was well- mistaken! When I sat with the pretty people, I found them all biting their lips and unable to look me in the eyes. It wasn't until I was sipping my third Dr. Pepper that Rosalie (the 'kind' thing she is) decided to pop my bubble.

"So…I hear you're not a virgin anymore…." There was Dr. Pepper all over the table. If you haven't figured it out- that came from my nose. "What do you mean?! Of course I'm still a virgin!" It came out as a powerful squeak. This time, Bella decided to add her most appreciated two cents. "Of course she's still a virgin! She doesn't even have a man yet!" Rosalie snorted. "Who said it had to be a man?" I twitched, I'll admit that. "Why does everyone think I'm a lesbian? Does my face scream 'HEY! I BANG GIRLS!?'"

I screamed that last part….unfortunately.

Immediately whispers broke out in the mess hall* and I got some very pointed looks from everyone. It was extremely frustrating and I could feel my worn patience tearing. I was extremely lucky in the fact that the bell rang signaling my escape to English. Still utterly frustrated that I somehow kept embarrassing myself (Emmett _totally_ didn't have anything to do with THAT ….who the hell am I kidding?) I picked up my bag and hurried out of the whispering mess hall and in to my least favorite class.

It was around the middle of my least favorite class that the pain started. I didn't think much of it (I thought it was my epic red fairy) and continued with my day, happily ignoring the growing agony. Most people in my situation would rush to the nurse to get pain meds, but the nurse scared me and she smelled like cigarettes, dead puppies, and the tears of babies. I thought that it would just go away and that I could get home and have a couple Advil. So I ignored it, sitting hunched forward in my chair trying in vain to hide my discomfort.

For two hours…..

I could feel sweat starting to mat my hair and feel myself shudder as the pain grew- but I kept on going, never once crying. Because black belts don't cry. That and sobbing in front of my classmates would have been more embarrassing then I would care to admit. When the final bell of the day rung, I felt my body shudder with relief and then start up with a whole other round of pain caused shaking. I could feel the salty water clinging to the fabric of my shirt as I bent low to clutch at the black fabric of my back pack before struggling to my feet and hurrying as fast as possible out of the room.

It wasn't until I reached outside that I remembered that my bike was broken and I'd have to walk ten miles. And I gave up. I just fell over into the snow, screaming and crying because it hurt so bad and wishing that someone would kill me just to make it stop. I could distantly hear the crinkling of snow as someone hurried towards me before I felt a cool touch lifting my head out of the snow and onto what felt like some sort of rock.

"Sunny? What hurts?" Alice. The voice was definitely Alice. The pain spiked again and I clutched at my abdomen. Alice called out to someone and another pair of shoes came near my body before Edward's face appeared in my vision. He gave me a quick look over before reaching for my shirt, and I felt my hands try to grab his. "Not that I'm not flattered Edward, but I don't go to second base until you buy me dinner." He chuckled before his face turned serious again. "Sunny, I need to check out your stomach. I'm not going to grope you." I grudgingly let him and felt his ice cold hands gently press into my abdomen. "Does this hurt more or less?" He's such a retard. "I DON'T KNOW!" He let go and I screamed and attempted to punch him. He dodged the hit smoothly before nodding at Alice and picking me up and carrying me towards his little Volvo. "Where do you think you're taking me?" I said through gritted teeth. "The hospital." He stated while dumping me in the back seat. I grunted and bit at my lips trying to stop from screaming at him, and began sobbing.

"It hurts, it hurts, IT HURTS!" I could hear Edward curse (I would have commented on his choice of words if I didn't want to punch a baby) before he yelled, well yell-whispered to his family. "I need someone to sit in the back with her before she starts to hyperventilate!" I expected Bella or Alice to speak up, but found myself surprised when my angel spoke up. I could _feel_ Rosalie's glare from my position in the back seat. But I didn't care because I suddenly found my head placed on the most wonderful lap in the entire planet and felt a large hand smoothing out my hair….or at least trying to smooth it out.

"Hey, hey Sunny- gonna go see the good doctor." I smiled half-heartedly at him as the car started. "Sounds like I'm in a cheesy horror movie." Edward, Emmett, and Bella (who I hadn't noticed was in the car) all chuckled at some sort of inside joke. Then the pain spiked and I found myself unable to speak and solely focused on Emmett's touch.

Not three seconds later (or what felt like seconds later- he made time seem irrelevant) the car jerked to a stop and I found my door flung open before I was hoisted back into the air. Moments later, I was in the middle of the hospital and being put onto a gurney before being wheeled into a private room- the Cullens following and standing watch in and outside of my temporary room.

Hospitals aren't a very pleasant place for me. Not because I have a horrible past or anything- it's just my phobia. Besides lizards and stairs, I'm terrified of needles and every hospital visit I've ever had has involved the dreaded subject. So I wasn't really surprised when Dr. Cullen came in and announced that I needed to get blood drawn. I tried to convince myself that because I was a black belt I could take anything- but when they pulled out the alcohol I knew I had lost my battle, and I felt the blood rush to my heart as I had an anxiety attack.

"Whoa! Shit- what the hell's going on!?" I felt Emmett's cold hands keeping my head aloft as I sort of floated, lost in pain and nausea, and struggling to breathe. I dimly heard Dr. Cullen rush to a cabinet and grab a smelly, white packet before holding it to my nose and rousing some sense of awareness into me. I heard a small click and then light was burning into my retinas. "Sunny, can you hear me?" I groaned. "Anything you'd like to tell us?" As a matter of fact I did.

"I'm going to puke" and (never one to be a liar) I then puked- thankfully into a bucket a nurse had dived to get. I could almost feel the Cullens wrinkling their noses, and I didn't care. I'm pretty sure I had vomit in my nose and all I wanted was pain meds….and a tooth brush….. After my 'episode' I felt better and decided to voice the fact. Dr. Cullen smiled at me before a serious look crossed his face. "Now Sunny, care to explain your reaction…to the alcohol swabs?" If I wasn't so pale from pain and general crappy feelings I'm pretty sure I'd be blushing. "It's not the alcohol…. I have a phobia of needles- an extreme one." The good doctor sighed before smiling apologetically at me. "I'm sorry to hear that Sunny, but we need to draw blood and set you up with an I.V." I nodded my head weakly, almost slumping forward if not for my pale giant. "What I'm going to have you do is try and focus on something else- which of you will stay in her for her to _get her blood drawn_?" He put a strange focus on the last few words and I watched as Jasper turned and left. Rosalie went to leave but stopped when she noticed Emmett wasn't following her. "Emmett. Come on." I felt him gently shake his head. "Naw Rose- I think I'll stay." I saw her clench her jaw before slamming the door as she left. I immediately felt a strange mixture of guilt, elation, and smugness. "Emmett, you don't have to stay for me. You can go be with your…girlfriend. I'll be fine with Alice, Edward and Bella." I felt him pause before he shook his head again and a cheeky grin made its way onto his face. "No. I'm going to stay- how many times will I get to see you on pain meds?" I snorted, guffawing at him and felt the other three laugh at my odd laugh.

Dr. Cullen (still smiling- the man was far too cheerful for his own good. I'm surprised the nurses hadn't jumped him like a bad episode of "Grey's Anatomy") motioned to his children before calling the nurse back into the room, and I instinctively knew that the distracting would begin now. Jerking my head away from my arm, I turned my head up towards Emmett's (surprisingly dark) eyes and waited for someone to say something. I wasn't let down when Alice chirped up, a hint of desperation in her voice. "So Sunny- where did you used to live?" I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling her that it was a cliché question and decided to answer when I felt the rubber squeezing my arm. "I'm from Florida. Around Orlando to be exact." Edward nodded. "So that explains the tan." The conversation was anything but flowing, and when I felt the pinch of the needle I knew my face paled dramatically. "So, what does one do in Florida? I've never been there- which is surprising I guess…. I'm pretty sure I've been everywhere…." Emmett's so cute- even when he's clueless. "I know that tourists visit the parks and the beach- but I prefer chlorine and the smell of kicking ass in the morning." Emmett's signature laugh filled the room and I felt my heart soar.

I love making him laugh…

Edward's odd stare broke me from my love-induced coma. "What do you mean 'ass kicking'?" I wondered what he was talking about (trying in vain to ignore the feeling of blood draining out of my arm) before I remembered that only Alice and Bella knew about my secret hobby. "I'm a third degree black belt and three time champion in sparring. I was going for four time but-"I winced as the feeling of draining became more pronounced. "I don't know when I'll be able to start training again…" At the end of my last statement I felt another needle slide in- this time staying in as they set up a butterfly. It was physically trying to not puke or pass out. I hadn't even noticed I'd been holding my breath until Dr. Cullen demanded I take deep breathes. Alice asked if I was fine.

I responded by puking my guts out into the little teal bucket. Once I was done, Dr. Cullen informed me that I had to get my junk checked to make sure my (evil) uterus wasn't the cause of my agony, and that it was in fact appendicitis. Like everyone thought it was.

Doctors are sadists.

I was quickly wheeled across the hospital and to the gyney. Wing where we were greeted by a fresh faced nurse….and an intern with a clipboard for taking notes. Both of which fluffed their hair when the Cullens showed up. She then informed us that only family was allowed into the room and that everyone would have to wait outside (except for Dr. Cullen…. Because he's a freaking doctor….). Let me tell you something, having your legs put up on stirrups is not pleasant. Especially when the nurse continually asks you "Are you a virgin?""Have you ever had sex?""Are you SURE you're a virgin?" over and over again. And once she does the exam (**two fingers.** That's all I have to say) asks you again. Then she did a pap smear- code name for 'rip you open with tongs and scrape your insides so we can see you squirm'. When she asked me if I was a virgin (again) I responded with "You didn't even buy me dinner first!"

I'm pretty sure the Cullens were laughing. I know the nurses were.

I vaguely remember Dr. Cullen saying that it was appendicitis, and that they were going to give me morphine to dull the pain until they could bring me to pre-op.

After that, all I remember is watching "The Nanny" and wondering how Emmett's gold eyes had gone black…..

--

The above mentioned was my early hours at the hospital some weeks ago. I don't remember much (morphine is cool like that) but what I do remember I'll write and the rest I'll make up.

REVEIWERS GET MORPHINE AND LYING IN EMMETT'S ARMS!!!!....OR JUST MORPHINE- WHICH MAY BE BETTER!!!!!


End file.
